Brand new installment to The Beautiful People series!

New work released today, The Beautiful People: South Beach!

I know it’s been a while but I’m bringing these characters back! The fourth installment to the sexy series was released for e-readers today for only $0.99!

 

The Beautiful People: South Beach

Book description:

Skinny dipping, reckless flirting, fetish-parties and mind-blowing erotica are all abound in Cheril N. Clarke’s fourth installment of the popular Beautiful People series. In this edition we meet the four core friends – the sexy financial consultant, Vanessa; the party boy accountant, Colin; the cute fashion photographer, Yen; and the debonair designer, Donovan – heading to South Beach for some well-earned R&R, and no small amount of fun and frolic. They are joined by a fifth friend, Suraj, a Bollywood star all the way from India but not everything goes as expected, as the South Beach law enforcement makes its presence felt. 

The sexual tension between Yen and Vanessa continue to surface in flagrant violation of Colin’s “no sex between friends” rule and ladies man Suraj finds himself in a shocking position. Treat yourself to loads of glamour, glitz, fashion, attitude, sexiness, and get charmed by The Beautiful People having the time of their lives without a care in the world. This story will give you more than a few hearty laughs at their Beautiful People “problems!”

 

Buy on Amazon:The Beautiful People: South Beach

Buy on Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-beautiful-people-cheril-n-clarke/1119607530?ean=2940149614424

Buy on All Romance ebooks: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thebeautifulpeoplesouthbeach-1521933-353.html

Brand new artwork for “The Beautiful People” ebook series

A sexy old series of mine, The Beautiful People, is getting a make 0ver!  I started writing these stories a few years ago and am preparing to release a few new installments that were never published. In the meantime, please take a look at the brand new artwork for the first three installments!

The Beautiful People-New Orleans

SUMMARY:

In The Beautiful People: New Orleans, the first short story in a new series, Cheril N. Clarke introduces us to four intriguing characters who will propel the reader into a provocative world filled with sophisticated naughtiness. Nontraditional in its presentation, The Beautiful People follows a close group of friends who love to travel, meeting up in a different city every other month for a weekend of exploration, partying, and a much-needed break from the daily grind of their careers. From the city of New Orleans, this installment acquaints us with a high-end tailor with a disdain for the common man, a fashion photographer riding a narcotic seesaw, an accountant with a penchant for flirting and flings, and an haute entrepreneur who is struggling with secret desires of her own. The Beautiful People subtly pushes moral boundaries and challenges preconceived notions of perfection.

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The Beautiful People-Las Vegas

SUMMARY:

Cheril N. Clarke’s second tour de force in the short story cycle The Beautiful People invites readers to accompany her quartet of vibrant characters on a luxe tour of Sin City, and all the temptations and wonders that entails.

The Beautiful People: Las Vegas returns readers to the lives of four friends whose magnetic personalities and gorgeous good looks rivet our attention. Vanessa, an entrepreneurial executive, reveals shadowed parts of her past and displays talents long ago abandoned; Yen Chu, desperately trying to navigate the waters of self-imposed sobriety, yearns to be disciplined, but doesn’t let that prevent her from arranging erotic adventures for her group; party boy Colin, on a quest to have the time of his life, ensures that everyone he meets will have the times of their lives as well; and Donovan, sometimes haughty, and always more conservative than the rest, allows himself to loosen up, and succumb to Sin City’s extravagant indulgences.

From glamorous adventure to steamy and sometimes seamy escapades, from the luxe lifestyle to laugh-out-loud humor, Clarke’s latest installment of “The Beautiful People” will satisfy the deep cravings of your imagination.

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The Beautiful People-New York City

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SUMMARY

Back for the third time and chock full of luxury, beauty, erotica and wit, Cheril N. Clarke’s The Beautiful People: New York City is a sizzling follow-up to the sinful activities that happened in Las Vegas. The four original characters return for a quintessential two nights in the city that never sleeps and take us on a joyride of fashion shows, swanky mansions, risqué house parties and more. When suppressed desires pull at two core members of the group, they must decide if they will resist the temptation to avoid collective chaos or throw caution to the wind and satisfy their wicked own cravings. The Beautiful People: New York City is a masterpiece of Clarke’s intelligence and imagination – her best short story to date!

 

How to Find the Perfect Life Partner, Stay in Love and Make it Last (Part 3)

Making Love Last

In my last post, I shared a bit of information on how to stay in love. It was my humble opinion and by no means a definitive guide. Today I’m following up with the final installment of this particular blog entry: Making Love Last. It has been stated in many studies that “Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages [in America] will end in divorce if current trends continue.” With projections like that, how do we make our love last? What is the secret to those couples who have been happily for 50+ years? How do we guard the gates of your marriage from situations that threaten its existence? Well…

Let’s assume you did everything right up to now and you settled down with whom someone you are compatible with, truly love and made an agreement to share your life together. After the first ten years, how do you ensure that things stay as happy, if not happier than the day you said, “I do”?

Eject Negative People from your Life and Keep the Details of Your Union Private

 

Always remember that familiarity doesn’t equal true friendship. One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is maintain a healthy and forward moving circle of friends. Get rid of people who are secretly in competition with you, people who repeatedly prove that they cannot be trusted with your feelings, who have demonstrated that they don’t respect you, your time or have your best interests at heart. Those who smile in your face but do not support your life choices or your endeavors need to be swiftly removed from your life. You know who they are. Get rid of them because they are not true friends. Familiarity doesn’t equal friendship.

A good judge of if someone should still be in your life is to ask yourself a few simple questions: without the ease of modern technology, would I still keep this person in my life? Is this person someone I would handwrite a letter to and call on a regular basis if that was the only way to maintain friendship? This is particularly true for ex-lovers. Ask yourself if you’d go through the trouble to stay in touch if it weren’t so easy and why you’re staying in touch. For what? What are they adding to your life that you cannot get from some else (someone new)? Are these “friends” moving you forward or holding you in place? Are they pulling you backwards? If they aren’t helping they’re most likely complicating. Let them go and move on. There is too much to do, see and learn with your chosen life partner to be slowed down by someone from your past. As one of my e-aunts always says, “just because you can [do something] doesn’t mean you should.” 🙂 Do not hang on to people who do not meet your expectations. You have set expectations and standards for the people you allow into your life, haven’t you?

Right along with getting rid of negative people is being cautious of those who knows what. Keep your private life private. The intimate details of what you and your spouse do should stay between the two of you. Having unnecessary people involved in the decision making of your marriage is an invitation for miscommunication. Instead of asking for advice or sharing what you did/want to do, sit down with your spouse and talk about your feelings/desires. Be honest with him or her (I will stick with “she” for a little while to not have to repeat “him or her”). Besides, we almost never tell another person EVERYTHING about our spouse, which means any advice they can give is with limited knowledge. No one knows more about your partner than you do. At least no one should. Lol Think for yourself and keep people and their opinions out as much as you can.

Don’t Allow Arguments

 

Another way to sustain a healthy relationship is to avoid arguments. The best way that I’ve seen this done is to ask questions instead of shouting back or talking over you’re your spouse to prove your point. If she accuses you of something or makes you feel a certain way or for doing or not doing something, simply ask, “Why do you feel that way? Can you give me a recent example of when I’ve done that to you? What would you prefer me do instead?” Ask these questions in a cool and calm manner. Instead of trying to prove your partner wrong, push her to prove her point with specific examples. If she can, then perhaps you need to take some stock in yourself and make some changes. If she can’t then you have successfully avoided an argument and ensured that she will think twice before picking an argument with you. It takes two to argue. If you don’t participate, there can be no fight. Be reasonable and talk everything out. Never walk out when there is an opportunity to discuss, heal and move forward.

“I have tried to show finally—and this was the hardest task of all—that reasonableness, so often painted in dull, unattractive gray, is the most desirable of all human virtues. Though it involves discipline and restraint, which are always unpopular, its restraints are tickets of admission to a wider world of happiness, understanding, and effectiveness. It is indeed the great need of mankind.”— Brand Blanshard

If you happen to be in a sore spot with your partner right now try this little exercise and see if it works for you to make things better. One thing I’ve learned to through the study of successful people is that they understand that our minds can’t always tell the difference between what’s happening right now and what happened in the past. What do I mean? I mean that you can alter the way you feel and your state of mind just by imagining being in a happier time and place. If you are having a tough day, turn off all distractions, sit down with your spouse and travel down memory lane. Talk about the happiest times you two shared together, the “remember whens.” Really get into it for five to ten minutes and then evaluate how you feel after you’re done. What could you smile about if you wanted to? When was a time the two of you had immeasurable fun? It doesn’t matter how many years you have to go back to find a pleasant memory, just find one. Take mental trips back in time to relive the most beautiful moments of your life—a birthday, a new puppy, the birth of a child, a graduation, etc. What could you laugh about right now if you wanted to? It may seem silly at first but try it. You can even do this on your own when you’re having a bad day at work. Escape through the power of your mind. It will quickly forget where you are and follow you to where you want to be: in your imagination. It’s a powerful exercise in how to control your emotions, which you should be constantly working on mastering. If you can control your thoughts then you can control your feelings and emotions. If you can control your feelings then you can control your actions/reactions. Are you with me?

Be Open to Trying New Things

 

Take that statement however you’d like. Physically, spiritually, intimately, and so on. Don’t be afraid of pushing the boundaries and deepening the bond you share with your spouse by gaining new experiences. If you knew exactly what was going to happen day after day, month after month for the rest of your life you would be bored stiff. Boredom may as well be death. Death of the soul, and no one wants that.

Try new things even if they take you out of your comfort zone. Check out this list of Non-Traditional Date Ideas if you’ve exhausted or don’t like those then invest in a pen and pad and sit down for 15 minutes a day to jot down ideas of things you’d like to do for or with your wife/husband. You’d be surprised how many ideas you can come up with if you just sit down and set your brain to the task of thinking them up. What does he or she like? What has he mentioned that he wants but never gets around to doing/getting? Think about it.

Remember Your Long-Term Goals and Make Daily Decisions That are in Line with Them

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar

 

Maintaining a healthy relationship and/or the motivation to keep it healthy is like maintaining your body. You must nourish and work on it everyday. It must be a way of life and your lifestyle must be compatible with your long-term goals. If you want to spend quality time together then you cannot watch TV for three hours every night. Some of that time should be spent talking to each other with no disruption and in a balanced conversation so that one person isn’t being oblivious to the fact that they’re yapping non-stop. Go for a five minute walk after dinner rather than watch TV. Talk about your old dreams, open your mind to new ones.

Spending your life with someone is a cycle of coming together, planning, implementing, evaluating, creating, harnessing and channeling – always being in a state of continuous improvement. If you want to get good at anything in life you must study and dedicate daily effort. The same goes for love. Read books on how to become a better person if you have to. There is no problem or character trait that you’re dealing with that someone else hasn’t dealt with before. Trust me, someone has gone through whatever you’re going through and wrote a book about it. When you read, really pay attention. Don’t just go on long enough to twist the text into justifying an ill behavior pattern that you have. STOP and be honest with yourself. Work on emotional maturity and stability for without that you’re bound to be stuck in a cycle of petty arguments and disagreements.

Love is a place where all things are possible and the most wonderful thing about it is you can go there whenever you want. You just have to do it. Do Love. Don’t forget those little touches, the shoulder rubs, graze to the small of the back, the kiss to the neck, the clasping of hands when just watching TV or laying in bed reading. When thinking about how you’re going to act and behave with your chosen spouse, ask yourself if you want to be apart of masses who complain what what’s wrong with relationships or the smaller group who dedicate their lives to changing their surroundings until it’s to their liking? Make your love life worthwhile. Take the reigns and hold on firmly, only allowing it to go in the direction you wish to go in. Never doubt that tall things are possible, never question the power of your own mind and it’s ability to bring into your existence anything you want if you believe it enough and seek out ways to make it happen – whatever “it” is you want for your relationship. Go for it.

*If you liked this post please feel free to let me know your thoughts and to share it with a friend.*

Here are the links to “How to Find the Perfect Life Partner, Stay in Love and Make it Last”  Part 1 and Part 2.

 

How to Find the Perfect Life Partner, Stay in Love and Make it Last (Part 2)


Yesterday I began to tackle a subject I often get a lot of questions about: Love. How does one find and maintain it? While I do not claim to be a complete expert, I have been fortunate enough to learn some lessons very early in my life when it comes to this topic and am more than happy to share them if it means saving someone else missteps and misery!

Wouldn’t it be great if more people grew older and happier at the same time?

Staying in Love

The first year is over. You’ve come to realize that she doesn’t look flawless every time you see her and it takes her three hours to look like that anyway. She might even snore. He has a habit of leaving dirty socks around and he is always late. Neither one of you really care for domestic chores but both of you hate a messy house. You’ve accepted that the person you’ve fallen in love with has some habits that sort of annoy you. Just a little bit, but let’s say you’ve had “the talk” about commitment and you’re both on the same page. Those things are indeed small and not deal breakers so you’re exclusive, now what? (I’ll cover falling in love and that typical six-month marker in another post.)

How do you keep the fire from going out and avoid slipping into a state of mundane routine? Outside of being interesting, yes you should continue this until you die, remembering the goals that you agreed to strive for as individuals and a couple is a good start. You did discuss what kind of life you wanted to build and figure out how you were going to do it, right? 🙂 It’s not enough to just say what you want. You must know exactly how you’re going to get it. What kind of person do you need to become in order to have the love life you want? What do you need to learn? Basic human psychology? Effective communication? What could you benefit being exposed to? Other healthy and happy couples whose relationships are strong and lean vs. fat and stifled by superficial attributes? This goes back to being a good partner, a person who truly knows themselves and is open to growth where they’re shallow. Those who plan their lives are often the ones who get exactly what they want because they Know What They Want. You cannot leave something this important as love to chance. You must invest everything you have down to the center of your soul on making it work if you’re serious and you chose the right person in the first place. I am vehemently against letting life happen to you and urge everyone to figure out what it is they want, find out how to get it and go get it. Leave yourself no option but having the relationship you desire.

George Bernard Shaw, said it much better when he stated the following:

 “I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, MAKE THEM!

The kind of relationship you’re going to have is completely up to you. If you want it to be drama free, then it can be drama free; if you want it to be full of the kind of love that explodes like never-ending fireworks against a sultry the night sky, then that’s what you’ll have. As stated in my previous post, love is simple. It is basic cause and effect and you will get what you expect. If you hold yourself and your partner to high standards then you will get what you expect.

Having a successful long-term relationship only means that you are staying the course and doing what is necessary for your LONG-TERM goals. It means you paid attention in the early days and didn’t just hear what you wanted to hear from your partner, but you heard, saw and accepted them for who they are. It means exercising emotional maturity and knowing how to resolve conflict like an adult. Better yet, it means knowing your partner well enough to be able to prevent conflict 90% of the time. It is possible. Quality relationships can be typified by their simplicity. It’s unfortunate that so many people refuse to believe love can be uncomplicated if they just trusted their gut from the beginning—if they trusted that inner voice that speaks to them when they’re alone.

When I say that it’s basic cause and effect to stay in love, I mean love should be a series of ongoing acts rather than just a feeling that shows up every now and then depending on what external stimulation is happening. Love must be something you do on a daily basis, especially when you don’t feel like doing it. How does one do love? They just do it. They listen. Pay attention. Use their imagination. That inner voice I mentioned above often speaks in a voice that’s too low to hear in the midst of haste. Relax. Take your time. An old colleague of mine once said, “It is better to take your time to get it right than to rush and have a million regrets.” He wasn’t even talking about this subject but the sheer power of his statement has never left me. Excellence takes time. It can’t be microwaved and ready right away. Be thoughtful with your actions and aware of the consequences before you do something that might not go over well. Doing this = getting that. Fill in the blanks with whatever you’re thinking of and decide if it’s a good idea or not. Doing love means thinking ahead and being aware. It means not having your head in the clouds.

Love is getting up to press your partner’s clothes if you see that he or she is running late. It’s waking up earlier so you can surprise him or her with breakfast. It’s sending a fruit basket or gift certificate to Game Stop instead of flowers on a day that isn’t his or her birthday. You know what will delight your partner. Just do it. That’s love. It’s taking six-months to plan something that will last one night (though you’ll have the memories forever). It means thinking before acting. It’s suggesting a better time and place to discuss something that may a tender spot for one of you.

Doing love is…doing all the things that love stands for. It’s being compassionate, patient, encouraging, uplifting, understanding and a source of strength. It’s being able to lift your partner from the dungeons of depression to the mountains of merriment with a firm and secure embrace. It is also relieving your spouse of fatigue. It is very likely that things die down because one of you is honestly tired. This is where paying attention comes in. Hiring a cleaning service for a weekend so your partner can actually enjoy those days vs. working on his or her day off can do wonders. What about getting his or her car detailed, filling the tank and leaving a custom greeting card with a happy picture of you both on the seat? If you can’t afford it, how about doing some of those things yourself? Giving your time is just as appreciated, especially if it’s for a task you normally wouldn’t do.

The secret to staying in love is really just the accumulation of “little things” that make your union strong. After all, we can only build a strong partnership one action at a time. Make yours the best they can be and with the foresight of what effect they will produce. Lasting love is possible.

What are your thoughts? Part three is coming soon…

How to Find the Perfect Life Partner, Stay in Love and Make it Last (Part 1)



Have you ever heard someone say, “I just keep meeting the wrong people,” or, “falling in love is easy, staying in it is hard,” or even asking, “where should I go to meet someone?” Have you wondered these thoughts to yourself at some time? I’m sure a great number of us have. What is it that makes some people appear to effortlessly live happily ever after while others find themselves in a cycle of one unsuccessful relationship after another? Why is one group getting it right while the other has difficulty?

It’s not because “all women are unstable or “all men are dogs.”  And it’s not because love is complicated. On the contrary, the laws of love are simple and concrete. They are inflexible and certain. In all of its forms, love is the truth, and the truth is always simple and uncomplicated. Love is honesty with self and all who we come in contact with. It is when people do not take the time to get to know themselves and their true desires, when people choose to ignore their intuition when it tells them something isn’t right here, that things go painfully wrong.

What do I mean when I say love is the truth? I mean to properly give and receive love one must know who they are. One must acknowledge their flaws as well as their undisputed beauties. What makes you a good catch? What baggage do you need to shed? What kind of partner is your ideal? What are their character traits (hard worker, religious, adventurous?) Are you putting yourself in places where you’re likely to meet them? Are you emotionally ready to accept them when you do meet? What kind of joint life do you want? We must know our whole selves and what we want in order to effectively find or recognize it when it appears before us.

I’m not saying we need to walk around with lists in our pockets and purses. No. What I’m saying is that self-examination is crucial in finding and more importantly keeping love alive.

Finding the Perfect Partner

The first step in finding a compatible partner is to break away from the ant colonies and subcultures of life and BE INTERESTING. Be a good partner. One of the worst things one can do in dating (and in life), is to be uninteresting. How many times have we read “I love to go for long walks, to read and to enjoy quiet time?” While there isn’t anything wrong with those activities, there is nothing about them that tells another person why you’re special. What activities can you get into that are not so common? Kayaking? Woodworking? Pastry baking? Tutoring illiterate adults? What can you do that will make a person stop and take notice when you begin sharing about yourself?

The goal here is to be of real interest to everyone you come in contact with; to be the kind of person who others love to be around and converse with. Bonus points for choosing an activity that will double as exercise and gets your body in optimal shape at the same time. Is sexy and interesting not a rarity these days? You’re already a top candidate if you put yourself in this hard-to-find but much sought after group. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual or if you identify as femme, butch, stud, boi, AG or any of the other million labels we have for ourselves these days. Love is love. Boring is boring and no one wants it. Be interesting.

If you’re currently on the dull side, find something exciting to do with your life. Not only will it make you interesting to others, you will meet new people outside of your current social circle. I know that may be intimidating for some people but if your current friends haven’t done anything to enhance your life lately then you need to be expanding anyway. Don’t make any excuses about never having been a certain type of person. So what? You are not your past or your previous behaviors and you can be anything you want to be. Take a risk and expand who you are so that you’re more desirable. Notice I didn’t say change who you are; there is nothing wrong with you, you just haven’t tapped all the potential you have inside. I’m an advocate of expanding and enhancing, not necessarily changing just to try and be some ideal created by other people. Be true to you. This way you have depth and you don’t have to worry (not so much anyway) about people making fun of you for trying new things. It’s a natural human tendency to want to avoid rejection and mockery even if it means suffering in silence. Don’t kid yourself and say it won’t make you feel uncertain if your current friends don’t understand your growth. Some will and some won’t, but what’s more important—creating the life you want or running in place with them wishing things were different? When you have depth vs. all out change, you can be whatever part of you best fits your surroundings. Go for it.

Click HERE for Part 2, “Staying In Love”

 

 

What are your thoughts?

5 Ways to Communicate Better with Your Partner


 

Quite often I hear about people struggling to get what they want in their romantic relationships. I even have a signature character in two of my novels whose life story seems to be a shining example of how not to behave in a relationship. This character is Sadira, the lead in my third and fourth novels, Intimate Chaos and Tainted Destiny. Even though I created her, I have issues with this character because sadly, she represents a great number of men and women who are stuck in dead-end relationships and are either clueless or don’t have the courage to stand up for themselves or just get out.

 

lesbian couple

 

With all of that being said, here are five ways to communicate better with your spouse/partner/significant other.

 

  1. If you are at the point in your life where you want a long-term relationship, do not waste time with people who you are not compatible with (people who do not have all of the core values you need in a partner). I firmly believe that love is NOT enough to make any relationship work. I’m not talking about you wanting someone who has a certain hair color or who is a certain height; those are superficial qualifications. I’m talking about religious beliefs (if any), intellectual level and willingness to be in a continuous state of personal improvement. If you know that it is important to you to have someone who wants children, do not stay in a relationship with someone who is wishy-washy on the topic in hopes that one day they will change. They probably won’t. If you know that you struggle with monogamy but want a primary relationship and someone to share your life with, don’t date people who hold steadfast to traditional two-person relationship structures – date people who embrace alternative lifestyles that coincide with your desires. I go back and forth on the old saying, “there is someone for everyone.” Is it true? I can’t say for sure (no one can), but I would like to think it could be true if people would just be realistic about their situation, their wants and their needs.  Perhaps if more of us would be strong enough to let go of long-held beliefs or go against societal norms that have proven over and over to be in direct contradiction to what it takes for us to be happy—whatever those beliefs are, as they could be anything, the old statement could be true.

 

  1. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Why do people continue to do this? Forget about lying to spare someone else’s feelings, say what you mean and mean what you say. Express yourself by saying how you feel and then tell them what you would like to happen as a result. Don’t tell your partner what you think they want to hear if it’s not the truth because in the end, you will only hurt both of you. To contrast point number one, if you know that you’re not at a point in your life where you want to settle down then be honest and say so. Don’t be selfish because you want to hang on to the other person. Don’t lie about your ability to be comfortable in a long-term relationship because you think it’ll hurt them by admitting the truth. It’ll hurt them more if they spend the next year with you just for you to then say “you need space.”

 

  1. Don’t try to mind read. Just ask. If you have the inkling that something isn’t quite right with your partner, ask them about it and be specific. This isn’t the time to beat around the bush. You don’t have to be accusatory with your questions either, just ask with genuine interest and an open mind for the truth.  Don’t ask your friends what they think your partner may be feeling or doing based on your partner’s actions, ask your partner. It’s no one’s business but the two of you and bringing other people into your relationship is just asking for drama, especially if you go against the advice of your friends—now you have the potential of hearing “I don’t you so,” OR them looking at you and your partner in a different light because they know too much about your relationship.

 

  1. Don’t threaten to leave, call your exes or to go out and find someone new. There is a difference between telling your partner what you desire (“I don’t want to casually date right now, I’m seeking a wife/husband because I would like to start a family. If you don’t feel the same way then we shouldn’t date because it would be a waste of my time,”) and (“If you don’t want me there are a bunch of other women/men who do!”) See the difference? The latter is mature, honest and specific. It gets to the point and leaves no room for misunderstanding. As well, pay attention when your partner responds. Hear what they’re saying and take notice of their behavior over the next few weeks. Actually, pay more attention to what they do than what they say because we have a tendency to hear what we want to hear even when it goes against actions.

 

  1. And finally, don’t scream, use silent treatment as a way out of an argument or emotional/physical as a way to resolve conflict. Silent treatment poisons a relationship. Nothing ever gets solved and both parties get an attitude. Just say what you have to say and/or listen to what your partner has to say. If one of you needs five minutes to process the truth like an adult then take it, but don’t walk out or throw a temper tantrum. If you do that and just “forget about it” or “move on,” there is a great chance that argument will come back up at a later date because it was never resolved properly.

 

To be continued…

Equally Wed magazine has launched!

I swear I didn't know the launch date for Equally Wed was going to be today. Just when I was talking about my wedding pictures the article comes out!

 

Check out the magazine here! I feel so humbled to still be doing interviews about my wedding. 🙂

 

Lesbian Wedding Pictures

Isn’t it funny how you find things when you’re not looking for them but when you were looking for them they were nowhere to found!? Well, that’s the deal with these pictures. I was looking high and low for them just a few months ago and couldn’t find them. Yesterday while going through old files I stumbled upon the disc! Even though there are many pictures from my wedding floating around the net (YouTube Vids), these represent the digital version of our actual wedding album.

ALL photos by Joel Greenberg and Wendy Stewart photography. The venue is Oheka Castle in Huntington, New York. Hair by Visions Hair Salon of Mt. Laurel, NJ and make-up by Ginger Jones.

Click images twice to view full size. (thumbnail below and on attachment page)

Sistahs on the Shelf gives four stars to “Love and Marriage: The Gay and Lesbian Guide to Dating and Romance”

"Want hundreds of tips to kick start, rekindle or preserve your relationship? Then get your hands on LOVE AND MARRIAGE: THE GAY AND LESBIAN GUIDE TO DATING AND ROMANCE by beloved novelist Cheril N. Clarke." – Sistahs on the Shelf

This title is $4.99 and available for Amazon Kindle, which can be viewed on the Kindle, iPhone (using the free Kindle app), your PC (using Kindle for PC) and other e-readers such as Sony via www.smashwords.com.

 

(Review continued)…Not only is Clarke the author of lesbian contemporary romance novels, she’s also a happily wedded woman of three years. That helps when perusing these helpful suggestions that list everything from scrapbooking to playing hide-and-go-seek to lap-dancing – all in an effort to keep the romance brewing.

The e-book is broken up conveniently into three sections: Getting to Know Each Other, Commitment and Marriage. Each pointer is marked with a symbol indicating the cost and activity type. As a word of advice, she states that you should make this book your own and not try to do everything at once.

If you’re on a first date or starting a new relationship, Clarke offers out-of-the-box plans for first dates. Things like taking a hot air balloon, having dinner in a castle, or walking under the stars on moonlight night will surely set a very good first impression.

For those in monogamous relationships, she doesn’t forget about you. To strengthen your bond, why don’t you take your girlfriend to a bed and breakfast or write her an old fashioned love letter?

And to cherish your union and combat the long-term itch of marriage, among Clarke’s hints are commissioning an artist to paint a couple’s portrait, having personalized china made, and attending a hedonism retreat.

By reading Love and Marriage, all couples should find something to fit their fancy – from the simplest declaration to the most elaborate arrangement. Clarke has your relationship in mind.

Where are all the upscale lesbians?

They're not in the clubs. Are they quietly integrated in mainstream society? Do they exist? Where do you find the lesbian version of Taraji P.Henson? Let's see. I have been asked where these lesbians are on quite a few occasions and I suppose the answer really depends on how one interprets upscale. For one person, it may be a club that doesn't allow hats, boots or sneakers, and for another person it might be an event at which there is no need to print the words "classy" or "upscale" on the invitation because the stipulations (black-tie, formal, $$$ admission, etc.) and attention to detail automatically exude class (except for the $ part as having money doesn't always equal having class). Where can you find these women? Well, before I can even get to that I think I should share with you the lens through which I look. To me, an upscale woman is one whose conversation, diction, and intellectual level are superb. She pays attention to detail in her dress, smell, make-up, jewelry and hair—she looks polished. This woman is cultured, well-read, has depth of character, a personal value system by which she lives and has a disarming aura of grace about her when she enters a room. She turns heads but it isn't just because of her physical beauty! She is also emotionally mature, which is a big deal for me because a woman who is emotionally mature is at a point in her life where she can do as she pleases when she pleases and never feels the need to put others down because they behave or look different from her. In other words, she isn't stuck up! And though she won't party with certain people, she doesn't belittle them either. It can be hard to find all of the above in one woman but I believe this type of woman exists. Now where to find her is another story. Personally, I am a homebody. I put spending time with my family above all else. I don't like bars or clubs. This is why I am usually unable to answer this question for people when they ask. When I do go out on the town, I will admit that it's usually to a mainstream party like the NYE party at the Crystal Tea Room or if it is LGBT oriented, it's usually a fund raiser. See, I don't want to hear a bunch of ‘yo son' or ‘that b*tch is trippin' when I'm out. I generally don't want to be in a place where the only staff is bartenders and bouncers. I want a good time and I don't want to feel stressed out while doing so. I want service. Above all, I like privacy and intimacy which is why I usually just hang out with my wife and maybe a few close friends. Anyway, for those of you who view upscale as I do here are a few ideas that might lead you in the right direction. If you still can't find who you're looking for…well…let's just hope this gets your imagination going! 🙂 -Look into charity functions by hosted by organizations Garden State Equality, National Black Justice Coalition. These organizations often have fund raising galas, dinners, picnics, etc. where you might meet other women (single or coupled) for friendship. -Go to upscale establishments. Try trendy, boutique, and posh restaurants with famed chefs instead of the chains and run of the mill bars. If you're in a small town where there is only one gay bar/club/safe space then this may be a challenge. -If there is such a thing as a gay-friendly membership only/country club near you, join it. If there isn't and you have the resources to create one then by all means, start your own group. Frequent art exhibits and galleries by LGBTQ artists. -Join an upscale dating site. There's got to be a gay friendly, upscale dating site out there that allows you to be very selective about the type of mate you'd like to meet. -Go on a women only cruise to somewhere other than the Caribbean. -Be the woman you want to meet. You might need to upgrade your wardrobe, conversation and overall presentation. All right. I hope that helps. Follow me on Twitter @Cherilnc

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